Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
