Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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