Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
