I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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