at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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