I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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