You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
