My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
