I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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