I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
