He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
