She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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