In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just had sex on a roof
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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