When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize