OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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