how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
