I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
