Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
