Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
