Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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