Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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