I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
