It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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