Kiss
Puke
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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