Dual....:-)
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize