she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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