JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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