I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
