if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
