i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
