I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
