He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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