i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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