omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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