I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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