I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
All I want is dick and wine.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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