The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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