I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
