5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
