Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize