i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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