he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
