just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
