I think scott just propositioned me for sex
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
