hotel room ftw
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
