im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
