He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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