your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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