New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
