Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
