I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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