Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Randomize
