Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
