I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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