he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you would pick up someone in the library
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize