Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
