this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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