Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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