I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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