I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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